Learning, loving and sharing my light. 

I’m going to ask for your patience with my ramblings. My little heart is filled with so much gratitude for all of the support everyone has given me in my new ventures with my blog and with my life in general. I feel like I’ve lived my life very transparently, an open-book I’ve even called myself. That was until August 2015.  
Technically it began a few months before that. It started with the feeling of being isolated as a Mom without a lot of friends, struggling with my purpose as a daughter of God by allowing fear to cripple me. And to top it of, a little girl I loved was killed. Looking back at that moment, it was the straw, as they say, that broke the camels back. I fell into a depression, something I’ve never experienced and I hid myself away. 
I lived the best I could and put on a happy face but there was a dark gloom that hung over me. I can hardly explain it. Things that used to bring me joy didn’t anymore. It seemed too much effort to even try. I went about as normal as I possible but as soon as I could I would climb into bed, watch Netflix and eat ice cream. 
Oh, that ice cream. It seemed to make me happy for the moment. I don’t even want to admit how much of it I ate. I never used to even buy it. But I began gaining weight and ultimately gained 25 lbs. I call it my, comfort weight, except it wasn’t comforting at all. I had to go up a few sizes, that never helps. Emotional eating was also something I’d also never experienced. What an awful thing. I feel so badly for those who struggle with it on a regular basis. 
There I was facing two BIG troubles that I’d never dealt with before. Difficulties that I know are relatively common. Why is it that I needed to feel these things? Heavenly Father knows that I only want to do good and to love and help others. Why would I have to feel so broken and for over a year.  
From the time it all began to just before last summer, I attended the temple every other week. The relief I felt entering its walls was immense. Knowing the I had plans to attend the temple kept my head up, just high enough to be a Mom and live.  
I had such a dark gloom around me but I know it was because I attended the temple, there was also this amazing light I could see in my mind. It was distant yet so very bright. It was my Savior comforting me letting me know it would al work out. Although I wasn’t immediately pulled out of my darkness I felt more love in those moments of need than I’ve ever experienced in my whole life. 
Looking back on that time now, I know Heavenly Father was teaching me understanding and empathy. He was giving me a greater love for those who struggle with emotional eating and depression. I am grateful for such a lesson and I’m sorry to those whom I’ve never fully understood, that includes some of my closest friends and family members.
I’ve known for a while now that one of my great purposes and responsibilities here on earth is to help Heavenly Father’s children to find balanced health within His boundaries. To do all I can to help them be healthy, happy and able to serve where they are needed. 
Now that the loom of darkness is gone, I’m fighting off those feelings of fear, with prayer, I’m making sure I let my light shine bright! And….I’ve mostly turned my back on ice cream, at least for now. 

If you struggle with finding balance, food, exercise, being alone or anything, please know that I am here and I love you!
XO April

April Thompson is 37 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. She and her husband have four children. She loves trying new things, including sports, foods, and crafts. She is a homemaker, blogger, hair and makeup artist, and personal trainer and currently serves in the Young Women's auxiliary. She loves teaching the youth about the Word of Wisdom, health and fitness.

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2 Comments

  1. Emily Hart - January 26, 2017

    You amaze me April. I have always admired your strength and faith. Thanks for sharing your stories with the world!

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